As of December 7, 2016 at around 8:30pm – Zeus joined Jesus in Heaven.
The last day that my heart hurt this bad was April 4, 2013 when I lost my Grandma. This is the worst pain a person can feel. Losing Zeus is like losing a family member. He was with me for 16.5 years… over half of my life… he was my best friend.
Zeus slept with me every night. He was the first to be greeted when I walked through the door and he always greeted me with a wagging tail and panting face. He never got angry and he was always the most comforting. When I was going through the worst of my depression, late at night when no one was around… Zeus was the reason I was able to calm down. No matter the anxiety attack or amount of tears that were falling from my eyes, Zeus was always right there to comfort me.
I’ve never known a soul like Zeus’ soul. His unconditional love and his ability to always sense when something was wrong - was out of this world. He always knew exactly how to be there for you, and he didn’t even have to say a word. He was the best dog anyone could have, I truly believe that Zeus gives dogs the title ‘a mans best friend’.
All of the nights I couldn’t fall asleep because Zeus was laying completely on my side of the bed or taking all the covers. All of the times I was trying to get down the hallway and Zeus was completely blocking it. All of the times that I was in my room with the door shut and Zeus used his nose to knock and let himself in. All of the times I got homesick and all I really needed was a picture of you and Bubba. All of the times I was taking a shower or a bath and Zeus NEEDED to be in the bathroom because he was so obsessed with water. All of the car rides, dog park trips, and runs we used to go on. Zeus you were truly my best friend. No matter what you did, I never had the heart to yell at you (and anyone who knows me can back me up on this… Zeus never did any wrong).
EVERYONE who met you - loved you so much. Everyone knew how special you were and how big of a heart you had. I didn’t expect to lose you today. I wouldn’t have expected to lose you a year from now. It would be impossible for this feeling to ever have been easier.
Tomorrow, I will probably wake up, roll over and try to pet you.
Tomorrow, I will probably come home from work and yell “ZEUSY” when I walk through the door.
Tomorrow, I will probably look for you in the back yard, hoping that maybe this was all a dream.
Tomorrow, I will probably grab 2 treats when I walk to my room before bed.
Tomorrow, I will cry and I will hurt.
Tomorrow, I know for a fact will be hard because tomorrow, I won’t have my best friend.
My heart hurts so much and nothing can make it better. Zeusy, I am so glad that I got to be with you during your last breath. Voicing my opinion on you going was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I wasn’t ready for you to go, but you were ready for you to go. Today was your day baby and there is no shame in that. I knew by looking at you, that you were ready. Today I listened to my intuition; I could feel in my gut that Zeus was ready.
It hurt to see you go, but I am so comforted knowing it was peaceful and that mom, dad, sissy, and I surrounded you.
I am lying in bed typing this blog and every time I think of the spot next to me, my heart sinks into my stomach. I keep looking at the door waiting for my mom to let Zeus in. I feel like a piece of my life is missing… because it is. I keep thinking about your beautiful face and how it could just light up the room and tears just keep pouring down. I gave you every ounce of love I could, old man. And you know what? You deserved it all AND some.
Zeus, you were my rock. I am still feeling a little numb right now; I know more tears are bound to come. I know this heartache won’t let up over night. This will take some time to get used to. But you are free now baby. You aren’t in any pain anymore and that is enough for me to know that we made the right decision.
I know I will heal and I will be okay, but for right now, I need to write and mourn. Tomorrow I already know I am going to run a lot and probably not eat much, but that is apart of my mourning process. I need to take it day by day. (Anyone who knows me knows I take my dogs very seriously – they are my life.)
Thank you for all the cuddles, laughs, and kisses Zeusy. You gave us an amazing 16.5 years. You will forever be my favorite old man. I miss you.