"Amazing things happen when you distance yourself from negativity." - Unknown |
I have chosen to be unstoppable. I have decided that I am bigger than my worries or my concerns. The strength in others inspires me daily. I keep focus on my goals. I trust my intuition and I will a courageous life. |
"Train your mind to see the good in everything." - Unknown |
I got my beautiful middle name, from my beautiful Grandmother.
Kylie Grace Peters. I was born in August in ’94. As a child I was always loud, outgoing, and active. I spent every summer at my grandma’s house with my older sister Shelby and my twin cousins Samantha & Danielle. Some of the best memories I have are at my grandma's house.
I grew up playing sports—softball, volleyball, and basketball. As a little girl, I spent most of my time at the at the softball fields for my sister’s games. These were my family vacations. We traveled most weekends and a few weeks during the summer for my sister’s softball team. I didn’t grow up having family dinners around the dinner table, or going on nice expensive vacations to the beach or tropical locations. We spent a TON of family time in the car together, traveling to play sports. This is why my family is so closely knit.
Basketball soon took over my life, as I got older. I played for an AAU travel team, as well as my school. I soon became so in love with the sport that there was always a ball in my hands. I was practicing every day, playing tournaments on the weekends, and I loved every bit of it.
Unfortunately, come sophomore year of high school, things changed. I started to realize that something was wrong on the court. During practice, I could drive to the basket and knock down shots but when it came to playing in a game… things were not the same, I froze up and completely forgot everything I thought I knew about basketball. Which this was weird, because I loved playing games in front of a bunch of people. Come to find out, I was diagnosed with a performance phobia.
Shortly after that, I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. My family was very supportive throughout it all, which helped me tremendously. As I mentioned earlier, my family and I have been super close since day one. I confide in my parents to this day.
I found different ways to cope with the inner pain I was dealing with, but none of them were healthy. Although, during the whole spell, I turned to running. It was my savior. I was running nearly 3x a day and barely eating. (I didn’t think too much of it then, but this would soon come back to haunt me.) I lost a lot of weight during this time, which was mostly muscle, but either way I slimmed down a ton.
Then I got a boyfriend- my first ‘real’ boyfriend. This was the summer going into junior year of high school. I stayed around the same size throughout the relationship, but I was still not happy with myself. I looked to him to make me feel better about myself. It was a very unhealthy relationship and looking back on it now I can see that was because I didn’t love myself. It took me some time, but I figured out something very important… How was I supposed to love someone else, if I couldn’t even love myself?
Kylie Grace Peters. I was born in August in ’94. As a child I was always loud, outgoing, and active. I spent every summer at my grandma’s house with my older sister Shelby and my twin cousins Samantha & Danielle. Some of the best memories I have are at my grandma's house.
I grew up playing sports—softball, volleyball, and basketball. As a little girl, I spent most of my time at the at the softball fields for my sister’s games. These were my family vacations. We traveled most weekends and a few weeks during the summer for my sister’s softball team. I didn’t grow up having family dinners around the dinner table, or going on nice expensive vacations to the beach or tropical locations. We spent a TON of family time in the car together, traveling to play sports. This is why my family is so closely knit.
Basketball soon took over my life, as I got older. I played for an AAU travel team, as well as my school. I soon became so in love with the sport that there was always a ball in my hands. I was practicing every day, playing tournaments on the weekends, and I loved every bit of it.
Unfortunately, come sophomore year of high school, things changed. I started to realize that something was wrong on the court. During practice, I could drive to the basket and knock down shots but when it came to playing in a game… things were not the same, I froze up and completely forgot everything I thought I knew about basketball. Which this was weird, because I loved playing games in front of a bunch of people. Come to find out, I was diagnosed with a performance phobia.
Shortly after that, I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. My family was very supportive throughout it all, which helped me tremendously. As I mentioned earlier, my family and I have been super close since day one. I confide in my parents to this day.
I found different ways to cope with the inner pain I was dealing with, but none of them were healthy. Although, during the whole spell, I turned to running. It was my savior. I was running nearly 3x a day and barely eating. (I didn’t think too much of it then, but this would soon come back to haunt me.) I lost a lot of weight during this time, which was mostly muscle, but either way I slimmed down a ton.
Then I got a boyfriend- my first ‘real’ boyfriend. This was the summer going into junior year of high school. I stayed around the same size throughout the relationship, but I was still not happy with myself. I looked to him to make me feel better about myself. It was a very unhealthy relationship and looking back on it now I can see that was because I didn’t love myself. It took me some time, but I figured out something very important… How was I supposed to love someone else, if I couldn’t even love myself?
Here is a partial turning point...
I jumped on out of my comfort zone. I started to go to parties and hang out with new people. I lied a few times to my parents, and I fought all the time with my sister. I turned very rude and very selfish. I cared more about materials than I did my own family, and this was never a way of life that I was taught. What kind of person had I become? I didn’t like her and I blamed EVERYONE else for my problems, which didn’t help my behavior. I was never home anymore, I spent all my time with friends, every single night of the week. I think the worst part of all was the part where I cut my sister out of my life. Not completely, but her and I had a rocky relationship here. She is such a genuine, loving, and giving woman, and I pushed her around like a rag doll. By far the biggest regret I have.
I finally saw the light one evening. And this was another turning point.
I was tired of hating myself and looking for love in the wrong places. I figured that something needed to change. I created a Pinterest board filled with health motivation, fitness, and tips. I came across a certain quote that stood out to me more than any other:
“It is easier to wake up in the morning and go to the gym, than it is to look in the mirror and not like what you see.”
I jumped on out of my comfort zone. I started to go to parties and hang out with new people. I lied a few times to my parents, and I fought all the time with my sister. I turned very rude and very selfish. I cared more about materials than I did my own family, and this was never a way of life that I was taught. What kind of person had I become? I didn’t like her and I blamed EVERYONE else for my problems, which didn’t help my behavior. I was never home anymore, I spent all my time with friends, every single night of the week. I think the worst part of all was the part where I cut my sister out of my life. Not completely, but her and I had a rocky relationship here. She is such a genuine, loving, and giving woman, and I pushed her around like a rag doll. By far the biggest regret I have.
I finally saw the light one evening. And this was another turning point.
I was tired of hating myself and looking for love in the wrong places. I figured that something needed to change. I created a Pinterest board filled with health motivation, fitness, and tips. I came across a certain quote that stood out to me more than any other:
“It is easier to wake up in the morning and go to the gym, than it is to look in the mirror and not like what you see.”
I set my alarm for 5:30 that morning. I got up and started doing morning bootcamp classes, and I was exercising even morning in the evenings as well. I was eating healthy along with it and things seemed to get easier. I had a different outlook on life at this point, and I felt I was finally who I wanted to be. I rekindled relationships with my entire family, dropped out all the negative influences in my life (which was the best decision I had ever made), and focused on positive living. I was really happy; life was going well for me. Good grades in college, good vibes, good friends, amazing family…
But along with the ups, there is always a down. On April 4th, 2013, my grandma passed away, my first guardian angel. The first death I have ever experienced from someone close to me, it was by far the hardest thing anyone in my family has had to go through. She was the backbone of my family. Her and my grandfather had been married for nearly 55 years, a beautiful marriage. Giving her 6 kids, 20 grandchildren, and 6 great grandchildren. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. Always, always, always coming to my basketball games, never missed a graduation, wedding, birthday, first day of school... She was on top of everything. She was the definition of was a grandmother should be.
We had gone to Kansas, New York, Philadelphia, and even Georgia to watch the Kansas Jayhawks mens basketball team play. In 2011 I had gotten her row 4 tickets in Allen Fieldhouse, she was on cloud 9, and so was I... I finally found a way to pay grandma back for all the things she has done for me. It was her dream to see a game in Allen Fieldhouse, so I made it possible for her. These are memories that I will keep forever.
But along with the ups, there is always a down. On April 4th, 2013, my grandma passed away, my first guardian angel. The first death I have ever experienced from someone close to me, it was by far the hardest thing anyone in my family has had to go through. She was the backbone of my family. Her and my grandfather had been married for nearly 55 years, a beautiful marriage. Giving her 6 kids, 20 grandchildren, and 6 great grandchildren. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. Always, always, always coming to my basketball games, never missed a graduation, wedding, birthday, first day of school... She was on top of everything. She was the definition of was a grandmother should be.
We had gone to Kansas, New York, Philadelphia, and even Georgia to watch the Kansas Jayhawks mens basketball team play. In 2011 I had gotten her row 4 tickets in Allen Fieldhouse, she was on cloud 9, and so was I... I finally found a way to pay grandma back for all the things she has done for me. It was her dream to see a game in Allen Fieldhouse, so I made it possible for her. These are memories that I will keep forever.
I miss this beautiful woman every single day.
To this day, things have never been the same. I am not sure if they ever will be.
On July 27, 2016 I took a leap of faith. I decided to share the deepest secret I have to the world. I have an eating disorder. I have had a very unhealthy relationship with food for the past few years now. I have been destroying my body for a peace of mind that I have never gotten. This has been the biggest turning point so far.
For so long, I tried to keep up this mentality that I had to be this seemingly ‘perfect’ ‘fit’ woman. I had to work my life away while I was going to school full time. I couldn’t have my own opinions. I was around such negative energy for such a long period of time; I never really realized what was going on. Becoming a personal trainer was the best move that I have ever made. Such amazing people surround me and I get to share my knowledge about fitness and eating disorder recovery to anyone who wants to hear it. I have finally realized that life is about learning to find yourself and be who you really are.
So this is why I finally came out with my secret, because I am tired of hiding. I am tired of living a life that other people want me to live. I finally don’t feel the need to ‘fit in’ anymore. I don’t feel the need to impress people anymore. My eating disorder does not define me, but it is apart of my life right now and that is something I have to accept.
There comes a time where you need to face reality and make a change if you want to see a brighter future.
It is a challenge that I struggle with daily, and I am now thankful that I am heading in the right direction. It was a major turning point in my journey, the day I decided to tell my story. I didn’t ask anyone for permission or an opinion. I took my life into my own hands for once.
I would be lying if I said that all of a sudden things were super easy and I am the happiest girl on the planet with no worries. But, I am able to say that things are now a bit easier. I don’t have stress like I used to, and I definitely feel more free. It has been a tough journey this far, I’ve made some hard decisions that I questioned at the time, but I know I am exactly where I need to be right now. I am so incredibly thankful for every battle I have faced in my life because it has made me realize so much. I know who I want to be, where I want to be, and whom I want to be with.
So this is why I am here. This blog will be a place for me to come to vent about anything and everything. I want to help anyone who wants it. I want to help people reach their fitness goals, as well as learn to love themselves.
To this day, things have never been the same. I am not sure if they ever will be.
On July 27, 2016 I took a leap of faith. I decided to share the deepest secret I have to the world. I have an eating disorder. I have had a very unhealthy relationship with food for the past few years now. I have been destroying my body for a peace of mind that I have never gotten. This has been the biggest turning point so far.
For so long, I tried to keep up this mentality that I had to be this seemingly ‘perfect’ ‘fit’ woman. I had to work my life away while I was going to school full time. I couldn’t have my own opinions. I was around such negative energy for such a long period of time; I never really realized what was going on. Becoming a personal trainer was the best move that I have ever made. Such amazing people surround me and I get to share my knowledge about fitness and eating disorder recovery to anyone who wants to hear it. I have finally realized that life is about learning to find yourself and be who you really are.
So this is why I finally came out with my secret, because I am tired of hiding. I am tired of living a life that other people want me to live. I finally don’t feel the need to ‘fit in’ anymore. I don’t feel the need to impress people anymore. My eating disorder does not define me, but it is apart of my life right now and that is something I have to accept.
There comes a time where you need to face reality and make a change if you want to see a brighter future.
It is a challenge that I struggle with daily, and I am now thankful that I am heading in the right direction. It was a major turning point in my journey, the day I decided to tell my story. I didn’t ask anyone for permission or an opinion. I took my life into my own hands for once.
I would be lying if I said that all of a sudden things were super easy and I am the happiest girl on the planet with no worries. But, I am able to say that things are now a bit easier. I don’t have stress like I used to, and I definitely feel more free. It has been a tough journey this far, I’ve made some hard decisions that I questioned at the time, but I know I am exactly where I need to be right now. I am so incredibly thankful for every battle I have faced in my life because it has made me realize so much. I know who I want to be, where I want to be, and whom I want to be with.
So this is why I am here. This blog will be a place for me to come to vent about anything and everything. I want to help anyone who wants it. I want to help people reach their fitness goals, as well as learn to love themselves.
So besides my background story, here is a little bit more about me:
I am almost 22 years old. I am a personal trainer and I graduate in December with a degree in Kinesiology. I love taking pictures and I love smiling. I am a big believer in ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. Family is absolutely everything to me. I love dogs, especially mine (Zeus is my black lab, Bubba is my black pug). I love to sing, I am pretty sure I could break glass, but I still love it. I love going to concerts, going on long car rides, and making people smile. I have a huge fascination with the human body; there is a 90% chance I will bring it up in every conversation. I am not a fan of reading, but I enjoy reading my textbooks. I am very random, but I believe the best things in life are. I really wish that my sister would have a child, I want to be an Auntie.
When I do something, I put all my effort into it. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I love to love. If I could be anything, it would be a gymnast. I am very organized, I love to clean and rearrange. Over the past year or so, I have gotten really good at learning to live in the moment. I find a way to embarrass myself every day, and no, not on purpose.
I find happiness in the little things. I love to cuddle with my dogs. I love something about every season, but summer would have to be my favorite. I don’t hate anyone, my grandma told me once when I was younger that you don’t hate people because hate is a very strong word, so that has stuck with me ever since. The more I grow and the more I change, the more I fall in love with myself.
I just really want to help young women learn to love their bodies. And most importantly, I just really want to be self-sufficient and I want to make something of myself. I was put on this earth to help people, so that is what I am going to do and I am not going to let anything stop me from achieving my goals.
I don't regret any decision I have made in my life, everything has taught me a lesson, and I could not be more thankful for the woman that I am today, and who I am still to become.
I am almost 22 years old. I am a personal trainer and I graduate in December with a degree in Kinesiology. I love taking pictures and I love smiling. I am a big believer in ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. Family is absolutely everything to me. I love dogs, especially mine (Zeus is my black lab, Bubba is my black pug). I love to sing, I am pretty sure I could break glass, but I still love it. I love going to concerts, going on long car rides, and making people smile. I have a huge fascination with the human body; there is a 90% chance I will bring it up in every conversation. I am not a fan of reading, but I enjoy reading my textbooks. I am very random, but I believe the best things in life are. I really wish that my sister would have a child, I want to be an Auntie.
When I do something, I put all my effort into it. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I love to love. If I could be anything, it would be a gymnast. I am very organized, I love to clean and rearrange. Over the past year or so, I have gotten really good at learning to live in the moment. I find a way to embarrass myself every day, and no, not on purpose.
I find happiness in the little things. I love to cuddle with my dogs. I love something about every season, but summer would have to be my favorite. I don’t hate anyone, my grandma told me once when I was younger that you don’t hate people because hate is a very strong word, so that has stuck with me ever since. The more I grow and the more I change, the more I fall in love with myself.
I just really want to help young women learn to love their bodies. And most importantly, I just really want to be self-sufficient and I want to make something of myself. I was put on this earth to help people, so that is what I am going to do and I am not going to let anything stop me from achieving my goals.
I don't regret any decision I have made in my life, everything has taught me a lesson, and I could not be more thankful for the woman that I am today, and who I am still to become.
all photos I use, were found through Pinterest, or are personal photos.