We all handle stress differently.  I love this quote over to the left because it sounds like something my mom told me the other day.  She said, "Ky, do you know how much happier you would be if you didn't worry about sh*t?"

Yes, mom.  I do know how much happier I would be...

​I for one know that I do not handle stress well.  I know this because I have been so stressed lately and it is just eating me alive.  I start to bottle my emotions, I stop talking, I stop eating, and I’ve cried at least once every day for the past few days.  It gets hard to talk about it sometimes because everyone seems so busy, and why should everyone else have to worry about my problems?
 
Well, what I usually do when I’m stressed that helps me is blogging, running, or sleeping.  My parents hate when I partake in the last one because when I get in these moods, I do nothing but lay in bed all day long with the lights off and no human contact.  It’s not healthy, but at times, it seems to be the best option.
 
I have decided that I am not the only one who gets stressed/depressed and I am not the only one who handles it poorly.  I have to say that I have gotten a bit better.  For instance today I texted my mom to see if I could go to her work to be with her during a meltdown.  She unfortunately didn’t answer in time, so I had to get through it on my own… but I tried to reach out and ask for help (which is the important part).
 
So I came up with some ways to handle how you’re feeling.  I know it is a popular option for people to indulge in unhealthy foods or say, do things like I do and close himself or herself off from everybody.  So here are some HEALTHY ways to handle stress:
 
1. Go for a run/take a walk
I am going to go for a run after I post this blog.  I haven’t had much energy to run lately, but today I am going to push myself because I know I need it.  Getting in some cardio is always a good fix to a bad mood.  It gets your endorphins going and it makes you feel better… you have to try to be unhappy after a run!
 
2. WRITE it out
And this is why I am blogging- because enough though it is just a quick fix to my emotions, I will take honestly anything at this point.  I have written this blog and less than half an hour because it just keeps flowing.  You don't even have to write about how you are feeling.  Just write anything!
 
3. TALK it out
My sister has been my saving grace lately with this one.  I haven’t gone to her for every meltdown, but I have gone to her for many of them and she has been ridiculously supportive.  Luckily I know she has no life like me, so she isn’t as busy, meaning she has time for me.  Honestly, just talk to whoever is willing to listen.  I had a therapist once back in the day and I LOVED it.  If someone cares enough to ask how you are, or talk to you and help you through this… then let them.  Don’t push anyone away.
 
^ Following up on talking it out.  Know who to go to.  Know who will make you feel better or feel worse.  I know when I am angry I go to my dad because I will vent to him and he will give me a sense of empowerment.  I know when I am sad I go to my sister because she knows how to make me feel better (mainly because a lot of the feelings I am having now, and the situations I am in, she is in or has been in).  I know when I need advice I go to my mom, she always knows exactly what to do.  When I just need someone to talk to and give me the cold hard truth, I go to Jessica.  When I need to vent my heart out and talk for 2 hours on the phone, I call Dani.  When I need life advice because of my mental or eating disorders, I go to Jensy because she has been through everything and she has a heart of gold.  I know who my support system is because they have proven it to me.  No matter what I am feeling, they have never made me feel bad for it.  I am so thankful.  Find your support system and figure out the different levels of support you have… I bet you have more than you think.
 
4. Find a healthy alternative that fits your cravings
This isn’t easy because the thought of eating a brownie over a protein bar just sounds better, but they do have some options out now that tastes like the real, unhealthy thing.  Do a Google search and find something healthier that can fit your cravings.  Or you can always email me!  I have some pretty great alternatives.  Oddly for me, I don't turn to eating when I am stressed, I just lose my appetite completely.  But I definitely know some healthy sweets.
 
5. Take a step back from life
I’ve been thinking about just taking a step back lately.  Just doing my own thing and not worrying about anyone or anything else.  It is much easier said than done.  I have almost completed 24 hours off social media and it feels pretty good.  Sometimes I get into overthinking the situation of deleting it, but honestly, I do think it was for the better.  And I have to say; the reason I have been crying lately is because I’m not holding back anything.  If I feel a certain way, I am going to let it flow.
 
6. Hug an animal
I recommend a certain black lab or black pug… but you can choose any animal of your pleasing.  I know my pups always help me through a tough moment.  Although Bubba wont let me cuddle his face and Zeus just wants me to pet him, they really do know how to comfort me.
 
I’m not sure if any of this will help anyone, I hope it does.  If you need anyone to talk to because YOU are stressed, I will always make time to talk and help people.  If you need healthy recipes or choices for indulging, I have that too.  If you need a pug to cuddle, I have that too.  You are stronger than you think cough Kylie cough.  You just need to believe in yourself a little bit more.  If everyone else believes in you, why can’t you just believe in yourself?
 
Time to go run, work, and then have some cuddles with Bubble later tonight.  See, I feel better already.  And I’m not going to call it temporary because sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it.  Right Shel?

Welp, I have started my new internship at Verizon!  It is going great so far.  It is a really great environment and I am learning a lot.  On down time, I have been really good at using the time wisely and studying for my certification exam (which I scheduled for the end of September!).  So yes, right now I am taking a quick break from studying and I am going to write because it always helps me clear my mind.

Not only have I been learning a lot at the internship, I have been learning a lot within myself.  So I found something out that is pretty neat.  Apparently, there are health & wellness jobs opening up all around the United States within Verizon and we are notified about them quite often.  I’m talking Texas, California, and Maryland… all over!  It made me realize how excited I am to graduate because I am a free spirit at that point.  By the time that I graduate, I will hopefully have had enough money saved up and I will be able to relocate.  Better believe that if I am given the opportunity, I am going to do anything in my power to give it a shot!  I don’t have anything holding me back anymore, so why wouldn’t I take a fresh start?

I have been thinking a lot lately about a fresh start and how amazing that would be.  Just to be in an entirely new place with entirely new people.  No more of the same street signs, the same food places, or the same everyday faces.  It really excites me although I do have my fears about it as well.  Starting somewhere completely new?  I’d have to make new friends, learn new roads, and quite possibly even get new taste buds.  But even though some parts scare me, I also know that I have so much going for me.  I know with my drive and my determination, I am going to make someone of myself and I am going to do what it takes to do that.
No matter what happens, I will be happy with the outcome, I think?  No matter what anyone tells me, I can’t-not think about the future.  I’m not okay with waiting around for things to happen.  I have gotten better at it, but I need some sort of plan.  I don’t plan things down to a T anymore, but I do have something to go off of.

Lately, I have been so thankful that God gave me a sister.  She has been helping me so much lately with so much going on.  I can’t wait to go visit her next weekend, I hate not living in the same state as her anymore.
I’ve decided to take a break from social media for a while.  Why?  Well, the details aren’t important.  I was just going a little crazy about a few things, so I decided to save my sanity.  My blog will obviously still be hooked up to my Facebook!  But, I realized that I don’t need social media to stay in contact with my friends and family.  Checking it and ‘creeping’ started to become too involved in my daily life and I am tired of putting myself through the pain of it, and I am also tired of letting little things eat me alive. Shelby told me if this is how I feel, then I need to make a change in my life and she is right… so I am starting here.  We need to start with baby steps, right?  (With saying that, I will be putting more energy into my blog.  This is a happy environment that doesn’t make me want to rip my hair out, so I am going to embrace it more.)

So here I am.  Lately, I have been WAY too focused on everything but myself.  I’ve been giving way too much energy to relationships, work, school, and internships… and not enough energy into myself.  I do this all too often.  I am tired of relying on other people to bring me happiness and ESPECIALLY tired of letting social media determine my happiness.  KYLIE determines KYLIE’s happiness, and I think it is time I get back to that.  Sometimes life gets to be too much and I forget about that… right now is one of those times.

 Heck, I’m really not perfect and neither is my life, therefore I don’t want to portray it to be.  I am a completely normal girl with flaws, issues, and insecurities.  I worry way too much, I feel unloved, and I get hurt easily over very little things.  Sometimes I get let down and I burst into tears…over things that you may think are silly, but to me, it’s normal.  I’m starting to learn that I am allowed to have these feelings.  I am allowed to grin ear to ear when I get a sweet message from someone, and I am also allowed to cry when I feel like I am unwanted.  We all have feelings!   And there are no ‘bad’ feelings.  It is all about how you handle your feelings.  Do I always handle them correctly?  Heck no!  But that doesn’t make me wrong for feeling them.  You are allowed to feel exactly the way you do right now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

So at the end of the day, I know what I want in life and I know what I have to do to get there.  I know the level of respect I deserve, and I am not going to put up with less.  I know the emotions that I tend to feel, and I am going to let myself feel them, just handle the execution a little better.

Hope everyone has been doing well lately.  Overall, I can't really complain much, I just really need to start taking a stand in my life more.  I am going to start posting more fitness and nutrition specific posts on their assigned pages, so I am pretty excited about the changes I am going to start making here!

This weekend was amazing.  Not only because I got to spend it all weekend at a music festival with my boyfriend, but because I got to spend it all weekend at a music festival with my boyfriend.  Yes you read that right, I will elaborate here.
 
A year ago, who ever would have guessed that I would love electric dance music? What about being able to spend a weekend away from home, in a new environment, with no anxiety?  Oh!  What about dancing my booty off for hours straight, not caring who was watching me?  Well, if you didn’t know me back then… the answer is no one would’ve ever guessed.
 
I am obsessed with this music now.  Justin has been taking me to these concerts since we started dating, but until this weekend… I didn’t really understand them.  For those of you who don’t know, Moonrise festival is a 2 day long music festival with 50+ artists, some including BIG names like: Zedd, Tiesto, The Chainsmokers, and Bassnectar.  Yes, I’m sure you have heard that a lot of people do crazy drugs here and it is ‘crazy’.  Both of those statements are true.  I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t notice people doing drugs… I saw plenty of that going on.  But the thing is, no one tried to pressure you into doing anything.  To be honest, I actually got asked for cigarettes more than anything.

I will admit, before I decided to go to the festival, I had been very judgmental on the whole scene, just like i'm sure many of you are.  But going to this festival made me realize it isn't worth being judgmental on people.  I didn't meet one rude person this weekend, no matter what they were wearing, how they looked, or the copious amounts of make up that they had on.  There is more to people than meets the eye.

​Everyone here was SO friendly. It amazed me this music/event brought so many people together.  Despite our race, gender, or sexual orientation… we all got together and had an amazing time.  There were definitely some people who were “out there” but they were still very friendly.  I felt comfortable waiting while Justin went to the bathroom… I just danced by myself or talked to some people.  That’s the biggest part I loved!  I wasn’t uncomfortable.  I was so comfortable in my own skin and in my abilities to make friends… I just didn’t think twice about anything!
 
So when it came to outfits, at first I was a little worried.  But then when I tried on my outfit both Justin and I knew it was perfect.  I threw on a purple bikini top and a pair of my black Nike spandex (and also my neon pink fanny pack--- BEST INVESTMENT!).  I was nervous that I wasn’t wearing enough and I would feel uncomfortable… but let me tell you, there were some people wearing way less than I was.  That was the beauty of this festival.  It’s not about what’s on the outside; it’s about enjoying the music and just being with good people.  From a girl who just went to her first festival: If you are planning on going, I recommend either bikini bottoms or spandex.  I was literally drenched in sweat 24/7.  My hair felt like I had just gotten out of the shower by the end of the night.  I actually wore some pink jean shorts on Sunday and it was a mistake.  They were so uncomfortable.  Just go for whatever is comfortable for you, I promise you will blend in.

​Speaking of wearing whatever is comfortable, I was a little worried that I wasn’t going to be comfortable showing off as much of my body as I was.  But to my surprise, I was happy I did.  Lately, I have really started to see my hard work pay off, so to be honest, I was okay with showing off a little.  Yay for breaking another milestone!  Every concert I’ve gone to, I’ve been nervous about wearing something that shows off my midsection because I didn’t like the way I looked… but honestly, I didn’t feel that way once this weekend.  I felt so confident.  And I could tell that my confidence showed.  A memory that keeps replaying in my head is my dancing my butt off and looking over to my left and seeing Justin just grinning ear to ear, watching me dance.  The look in his eyes, looking at me, just looked genuine.  I knew that this weekend was completely genuine.  We were both free.  We were both living.  We were both not worrying about anything in the world, except that exact moment.  That exact song.  That very beat.  It’s the only thing that mattered… which is how life should always be.
 
This weekend helped me see what it felt like to live in the moment.  It showed me that coming out of my shell was the best move I’ve ever made.  I still have time for fitness.  I still have time for work, school, and internships.  I still have time for family and chores around the house.  And most importantly, I still have time for life.  I’m not obsessed with working all the time.  I’m not obsessed with impressing anyone.  I am obsessed with pleasing myself.  I am obsessed with just enjoying my life.  I have kept my work ethic strong, my relationships healthy, and most importantly- I have kept my mind happy.  I am learning more and more everyday about myself and about life in general.  I don’t live in a box anymore.  I am free and I am freaking happy.
 
It feels good.  Life feels good.  It’s not perfect—I still worry about eating probably 70% of the time.  I couldn’t go to the gym yesterday or today because my calves are literally rocks from jumping and dancing all weekend (it actually hurts to walk).  I start a new internship that I have to knock out hours very quickly for.  I am about to start a new full time job.  I’m sick or have allergies…or something?  And sometimes I have a lot on my mind.  But hey- you have to learn to take the good with the bad.  And one thing is definitely for sure; I have not once second-guessed where I’m at or how I got here.

If you have the chance to attend a festival, do it.  They aren't cheap and they are absolutely exhausting... but every ounce of it was 100% worth it.