Not only have I been learning a lot at the internship, I have been learning a lot within myself. So I found something out that is pretty neat. Apparently, there are health & wellness jobs opening up all around the United States within Verizon and we are notified about them quite often. I’m talking Texas, California, and Maryland… all over! It made me realize how excited I am to graduate because I am a free spirit at that point. By the time that I graduate, I will hopefully have had enough money saved up and I will be able to relocate. Better believe that if I am given the opportunity, I am going to do anything in my power to give it a shot! I don’t have anything holding me back anymore, so why wouldn’t I take a fresh start?
I have been thinking a lot lately about a fresh start and how amazing that would be. Just to be in an entirely new place with entirely new people. No more of the same street signs, the same food places, or the same everyday faces. It really excites me although I do have my fears about it as well. Starting somewhere completely new? I’d have to make new friends, learn new roads, and quite possibly even get new taste buds. But even though some parts scare me, I also know that I have so much going for me. I know with my drive and my determination, I am going to make someone of myself and I am going to do what it takes to do that.
No matter what happens, I will be happy with the outcome, I think? No matter what anyone tells me, I can’t-not think about the future. I’m not okay with waiting around for things to happen. I have gotten better at it, but I need some sort of plan. I don’t plan things down to a T anymore, but I do have something to go off of.
Lately, I have been so thankful that God gave me a sister. She has been helping me so much lately with so much going on. I can’t wait to go visit her next weekend, I hate not living in the same state as her anymore.
I’ve decided to take a break from social media for a while. Why? Well, the details aren’t important. I was just going a little crazy about a few things, so I decided to save my sanity. My blog will obviously still be hooked up to my Facebook! But, I realized that I don’t need social media to stay in contact with my friends and family. Checking it and ‘creeping’ started to become too involved in my daily life and I am tired of putting myself through the pain of it, and I am also tired of letting little things eat me alive. Shelby told me if this is how I feel, then I need to make a change in my life and she is right… so I am starting here. We need to start with baby steps, right? (With saying that, I will be putting more energy into my blog. This is a happy environment that doesn’t make me want to rip my hair out, so I am going to embrace it more.)
So here I am. Lately, I have been WAY too focused on everything but myself. I’ve been giving way too much energy to relationships, work, school, and internships… and not enough energy into myself. I do this all too often. I am tired of relying on other people to bring me happiness and ESPECIALLY tired of letting social media determine my happiness. KYLIE determines KYLIE’s happiness, and I think it is time I get back to that. Sometimes life gets to be too much and I forget about that… right now is one of those times.
Heck, I’m really not perfect and neither is my life, therefore I don’t want to portray it to be. I am a completely normal girl with flaws, issues, and insecurities. I worry way too much, I feel unloved, and I get hurt easily over very little things. Sometimes I get let down and I burst into tears…over things that you may think are silly, but to me, it’s normal. I’m starting to learn that I am allowed to have these feelings. I am allowed to grin ear to ear when I get a sweet message from someone, and I am also allowed to cry when I feel like I am unwanted. We all have feelings! And there are no ‘bad’ feelings. It is all about how you handle your feelings. Do I always handle them correctly? Heck no! But that doesn’t make me wrong for feeling them. You are allowed to feel exactly the way you do right now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
So at the end of the day, I know what I want in life and I know what I have to do to get there. I know the level of respect I deserve, and I am not going to put up with less. I know the emotions that I tend to feel, and I am going to let myself feel them, just handle the execution a little better.
Hope everyone has been doing well lately. Overall, I can't really complain much, I just really need to start taking a stand in my life more. I am going to start posting more fitness and nutrition specific posts on their assigned pages, so I am pretty excited about the changes I am going to start making here!