One of my biggest fears is admitting to myself I am doing something wrong. It is a hard task, let's be honest. I don't regret anything in my life. Not one thing. Everything we do, makes us who we are. I have made bad decisions before, said the wrong thing at the wrong time, but none of it has made me a bad person. We all make mistakes, but what does it take for us to admit our mistakes?
For me.. It takes a lot. I've gotten very good at blocking things out in my head, which in a way is a good thing. But it can also in the end come around to hurt me. Right now is one of those situations. I know something is wrong, but I refuse to assess it. What do I do? Ask for help? Fix it on my own? Give it time? Life is a learning game, especially at my age.
I know one thing is for sure... The advice that I give out to people, I want them to take it. I want them to breathe in beautiful new air, take a step back from the hustle & bustle of everyday life, and just love. Love everything. Everything life has to offer, everything they have to offer, everything. But why is it so hard to take your own advice? I know what it's like to want someone to take your advice, and they just aren't accepting the help... I know how frustrating that can be. But I never give up, not once. But am I giving up on myself? Am I giving up on being everything that I want to be, because I feel temporarily lost?
Being lost is normal, I know. It helps us find what we want most. It helps us love everything we have once taken for granted. Some things just take time, and I think this is one of those situations with me. My biggest issue right now is holding myself accountable for the mistakes I make. I know my right from wrong like the back of my hand, but for some reason my instincts aren't listening right now. I'm playing a game with myself right now, learning game. All this time I am disliking what is happening, when in reality I should be thanking the universe for putting me through it. To help me see situations differently.
I can get through anything, grandma's passing proved that to me. I am a strong girl. A girl who never easily gives up. A girl who carries love with her wherever she goes. And nothing will ever change this. I love, love way too much for that.
I skipped my first class today because for the first time this semester, I forgot an assignment :/ unfortunately. So we will see how that plays out on Thursday. I have 2 tests Thursday & a presentation.. & Work tomorrow night. So tomorrow after school I need to buckle down & study. I expect nothing lower than a B on both tests (obviously shooting for an A though!) Tomorrow night my boss said we can wear Halloween costumes to work... So excited!!!
Everything is solvable. Even the hardest of situations. Sometimes you need more time, and to dig deeper. But you can do it. You truly can do anything that you truly want.
I thought this quote was perfect for today's topic. It is so true, sometimes you just need to take charge of your life. Never be afraid to do so.