Now yesterday- my mom asked me "why aren't you eating dinner?" Her & my dad knew everything during my depression... So even until this day, they make sure I'm still taking care of myself. Eating, taking my pills, getting time to myself, getting enough sleep. All of these have an impact on my anxiety state & I honestly could not be more grateful that they care the way they do.
Although I didn't eat dinner because I had eaten about an hour or so before my parents got home. So it was not because of anxiety... Although I was feeling it bad yesterday.
Yesterday was a very low day for me. I don't know why, it just was. I am so glad that Michael is patient with my anxiety & I. He doesn't realize how much it means to me. We were supposed to hang out last night, but instead of just bailing & making up an excuse- I told him the truth. I told him I didn't think that it was fair to hang out when I knew I was going to be in a crappy mood. Why would we hang out just so I can ruin his night? I ended up watching Kansas play at Grandpas house with my sissy.. It was the right choice. I needed some time to myself.
So last night I went to sleep thinking I was going to wake up happier. & What happened? Just that. I woke up in a fabulous mood this morning!
See what happens when you actually believe you can do something? If you push yourself to feel a certain way, in the end you will be able to feel it. I truly believe that.
So it made me feel good that I bounced back so quickly. Yesterday I felt like the depressed feeling I had was going to last. But what did I do? I kicked it in the ass & said not today. I am not ruining 2 perfectly good days out of my life over nothing.
So today marks 2 days in a row that I have kept my room clean! Most importantly right before I go to sleep I have been cleaning up! This is a huge step for me. I used to ALWAYS keep my room clean. Like no matter what. I was so anal about my room & for some reason that stopped for a while. But not anymore.
I feel decluttered. It gives me a sense of drive. A drive that I have really really missed. This is a step toward becoming a better me.
My sister told me yesterday I feel like I have to meet society's standards.. & that has a big impact on why I was feel anxious. Old Kylie? Yes. That was the case. But no. I thought about it for a second, and what to know what I replied? "I just have high of standards for myself."
I have the potential to go ANYWHERE in life. To do ANYTHING that I want! I see that. So clearly.
Tomorrow I will start the day off strong. Happy & with my head held high. Nothing can stop me from going where I want to go.
You gotta take the good with the bad. I made the lost out of my bad day yesterday. I used it to push me forward.
How will you use yours?
If you aren't happy... Change it. Nothing will change if you don't.
Work towards being a better you. Everyday try to practice happiness, positivity, and random acts of kindness. You will see a difference in your all around complexion. You will glow. Others will gravitate towards you.
Be the good you want to see in others.
Would you like you, if you met you?