I'm stressing again. A lot. I can always feel it takes a toll on me.. Yet I always carry it the same way.....all at once.
I've never been good at making time for stuff, I've always had this problem where I try to do more than I can handle. It usually bites me in the butt.. But 19 years later & I still haven't learned a lesson. It's a bit ridiculous the things I stress about though.. I swear sometimes I stress over things, because I don't have enough to stress over. I don't know if that makes any sense though. It might just be me. Who knows.
So right now I have typical teenager stresses.. Good grades, make money, family, love, friends, health.
So get this... If you have read my bio. You know that I am currently going to school for Kinesiology. I want to do something with personal training & occupational therapy. So.. With saying that if you took a guess- which 'stress' would you think I'm putting first? Health? Wrong.
I have completely put my health on the back-burner of my life. "Eating habits? Who needs 'em. Gym? Meh." That is literally my mentality right now, and you know what? I hate it. I hate everything about it. My insecurities are back... Bigger than ever. My positive attitude is hanging in there... But how long until it is gone? I am the bomb.com when it comes to being a positive impact in someone else's life... But unfortunately I've started to pick on myself more. When I realize I am doing it, I can stop myself.. But I can't stop myself before it happens.
Did you know it has been 11 months since grandmas passing?
It's almost been a full year.
The most unhealthy year of my life.
What I would do to be able to take control back over my life right now.
I've tried. And tried. And tried. And tried.
Now this is all positive because I have not failed yet, because failing means that I quit & I have not & will not quit.
My mom always tells me life is not that hard for the amount that I stress. & you know she is probably right. One day I will see that. But it seems like for now I am going to have to keep learning the hard way.
But my mama didn't raise a quitter. I never have been & I never will be. Tough times never last- tough people always do. And I for one am a tough girl. I can & tackle anything thrown at me.
The reward I will get when I tackle these obstacles is far better than receiving it without a struggle. The struggle makes you who you are.
And incase you were wondering- I am making this struggle my BITCH.
Btw- today is the first day of lent. So- in honor of Grandma, I am giving up all sweets/desserts. That was always grandmas go-to. So I am keeping up her tradition. Plus it is also a step in the direction I want to go.
Never give up on your goals. You can take breaks on the way to your destination... Just make sure you don't overstay your welcome.
For every negative thought that I have, I replace it with a positive thought & I also throw out one happy thought for shits & giggles.
So beware when you say something negative- cuz you have to come back & double that with positivity!
ALSO- I followed through with a random act of kindness. I was in the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru (getting the salad I am addicted to!) & I paid for the lady behind me as well :) made me feel good to impact someone else's day.
Have a fabulous night everyone!