One person in particular asked if I had any tips on how to be happy and keep up a positive attitude during the hard times of life. Some times life gets to us- I know that, but that doesn't mean you have to let the bad times eat you alive. You need to remember you are a positive person. You live for happiness and love. And the only way to receive happiness and love, is to give it.
I decided to write some different tips on how to train yourself to be happy and positive. I hope they are affective, I would love to hear some feedback on here, Facebook, twitter, or email. Let me know how they work for you!
My twitter and email is up in the top right corner, and my Facebook is under "Kylie Peters"
"Negative thoughts will destroy you. Always do your best to keep a positive mind."
The most powerful quote that I have ever read. (And I have read thousands of quotes!) Negative thoughts honestly get you nowhere. By keeping a positive mind, you are giving yourself to see the good in everything. I know, I know... if you know me/have ever been in the car with me while I am driving, you are probably thinking "she has the worst road rage/negativity in the car." Well, yeah... that is true.
BUT- some days, my road rage is controlled, and I am a very courteous driver (kind of like the driver you want to be driving next to).
So what I have learned about myself is (and I think this can go for anyone), when you practice happiness and positivity every morning, you will be happy and positive throughout the day. Try it.
"Take time to do the whatever makes your soul happy."
What makes you happy? Drinking sun tea on a nice summer day? Painting a picture? Sitting outside on the front porch during a thunderstorm? Well, whatever it may be, do it. Do it as often as possible. We all have things that we have to do. Work, school, cook dinner, work out... And somehow there is never enough time in the day. Well, there can be, you just need to make it. I know how that extra 15 minutes of sleep feels, but if it impacts your plans for that day, it isn't worth it. Isn't it nice to go to sleep at night knowing that you got everything you needed to get done that day, as well as getting your 'you time' in? Take breaks during your hectic days, and do something for yourself. 'You time' is an important aspect of keeping yourself sane.
"Learn to see the good in the unexpected."
This can go for so many different things. So think of 5 things that could happen to you tomorrow that you wouldn't necessarily enjoy. Not getting a job after your interview went well... Not getting an acceptance letter to your dream college... Going to buy a car, and then finding out it was sold an hour ago... I know in the moment it is hard to see the good in these unexpected things, but I promise you that there is. Sometimes you just have to dig deep to find these things, like all things that are good, it takes effort to find them.
Lets take a flashback for this example. My grandmother passed away over a year ago. (I know what you are thinking, there is no possible way that this could turn into a positive situation, but just trust me on this one.) Okay, when grandma went in the hospital, she was very sick. She was in a lot of pain 24/7... And as hard as it was/still is, it was her time to go. She is truly in a better place now pain free. Also, after she passed I had family from Idaho, Connecticut, and Kansas come in for the funeral. I saw family members that I haven't seen in years, and some I was meeting for the first time (well, they claim they met me when I was a couple of months old... but that doesn't count). So all in all, yes I can live with a positive outlook here.
1- Grandma is out of pain.
2- Her funeral was a beautiful family reunion that brought our family even closer than it was.
3- I have a closer relationship with my grandfather.
You can find the good in every situation if you dig deep enough.
"Better to be the one who smiled than the one who didn't smile back."
This quote goes back to being the bigger person, and honestly being the bigger person always brings a sense of happiness.
My neighbors never wave at my family when we are leaving/entering our court. It is super rude too, because they will just turn their head the other way. So you know what I do? I wave at them. And it is actually funny because a 19 year old is more mature than more of the 'grown ups' in my court. I have another quote that will explain this in another sense as well.. But just briefly, do not, and I repeat do NOT sacrifice your self respect to suck up to the ones who give you the cold shoulder. There is one neighbor in particular who I will never wave at again. He isn't a good person, and I do not wish to be associated with him, and believe me he feels the same about my family. I have honestly has staring contests with him because he just stares us down, and I do not back down to him. Keep your self respect and dignity, do not let anyone push you around. In other words- keep your head held high. (But not too high- you don't want to be an asshole!!)
"I love the person I've become because I fought to become her."
Everyday we are faced with obstacles that can make or break us, and everywhere in between that. You have the choice everyday to do the things that will help you grow or participate in the things that will pull you back. Sometimes the right thing to do- is not the easy thing, but happiness and positivity takes effort. Lots and lots of effort. If you can commit and put the effort toward bettering yourself, and fight everyday, you will succeed.
"You can look forward, but not back."
Speaking of not letting something pull you back... One thing that you need to make sure you do, is always look ahead. There are far better things that you will encounter ahead of you, than the ones that you will leave behind. One thing to always remember is that everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. You need to learn to see these mistakes and move on from them. Just because you make one mistake, does not mean you are a bad person. Although, if you don't learn from your mistakes, then maybe they aren't mistakes, and there is a bigger mess you need to assess. Learn what you did/what you are doing wrong and fix it. Once again... effort.
"It's never too late to be who you've always wanted to be."
20? 30? 45? It doesn't matter how old you are. Everyday we find new things that we enjoy doing, and you are never too old to fulfill a dream. Whether it is a long term goal, or a short term goal, you can do it. Take the risk and do what others think you cannot, because if it is something you want then it is worth it. Just do it, what are you waiting for?
"Don't let your loyalty become slavery, know when to let go and never compromise on self respect."
This goes back to talking about my neighbors. Know your boundaries. Know where you are wanted, and where you aren't wanted. Don't ever let someone take advantage of you. Living for others is the easiest way to be unhappy. When you give others the power to control you, you give them your world. Keep your emotions to yourself, and don't take anything from anyone. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. If you want to say something, say it. Stand your ground and believe in yourself. Having self respect is necessary when trying to be positive.
"It is more important to work on accepting yourself than wonder if others accept you."
I read a quote once that said "Be nice to yourself, it is hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time." When you are constantly bringing yourself down because 'you don't like your weight' or 'you aren't pretty enough' or 'you aren't smart enough' you tend to get a more negative outlook on everything around you. When I used to have problems with my eating habits, I would take out my stress and frustration on the people around me. It was hard to be happy when I was so angry with the one person that mattered...... Myself. When you learn to accept yourself, you will learn that it is not worth the trouble to have others accept you. The ones that matter will always be there for you, and the one's who do not matter, well frankly- their opinion doesn't either.
"Take punishment for your actions, do not pin them off on others."
When you make a mistake, and blame it on other people, what are you learning? Nothing. You cannot possibly learn from your actions if you are not taking the blame for them. Learning from mistakes are critical when trying to grow and mature as a person. And if you aren't learning, you aren't moving forward. I know many people who are never wrong, and it is sad to see, because a lot of them are older than me. (But you can't help anyone who doesn't want the help!) So learn from others... If you make a mistake, own up to it. You will feel better and more free in the end.
"Don't be afraid to accept that things need to be changed."
Change is inevitable. You will never be able to run away from change. You need changes in your life if you want to grow, and the only way to grow is to accept the things that are changing in the world around you, and also within yourself. Don't run away from changes, embrace them. See them as blessings. You need changes to push yourself to succeed. The bumps in the road along the way, that may temporarily throw you off course are also inevitable. Learn to accept- that wasn't meant to be. Move on and push harder than ever. Keeping a positive mind during life changes is a must, otherwise you will be moving backwards.
So with reading all of this, how do you feel? Are you ready to get out there and take on the day? Do yourself a favor, every morning that you wake up while you are getting ready in the morning, take 5 minutes out of your time to love yourself. Say 5 nice things about yourself, and 5 beautiful things about your upcoming day.
You also have a challenge from here on out. I learned this little beauty from my wonderful sister, but it works tremendously. For every negative thought you think and every negative comment you make, you must say TWO positive things to negate what you just thought or said.
For example: When I am driving and someone cuts me off I automatically start cussing them out. "YOU MOTHERF%$#&^, DIDN'T YOU F*(%$^@# SEE ME THERE A$$&^%)!?" So.. once I let out my negative energy (because I know sometimes in the moment it is hard to realize what you are doing) so once you let it all out, take a deep breath and smile. Then say 2 nice things. "At least he didn't hit me, I am happy we are both okay." and "It is too beautiful of a day to frown." There, you are done. It was not that hard, and I promise afterwards you will feel reenergized and unstoppable!
Life flashes before your eyes. I am almost 20 years old, and yesterday still feels like I was 10. Stay positive and smile at everything, it is not worth wasting another second being unhappy.
What will be, will be. So learn to handle it happily!