1) Is this not the best picture ever to explain my life?! When I have an issue or a meltdown about something, I like to end up laughing about it. It makes me feel a hell of a lot better and life is better when you're laughing.
2) CHECK OUT MY WORKOUTS TAB AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THEM!
Well, the start of my winter break couldn’t have possibly been better. I found out I passed statistics, I saw my boyfriend for about 2 weeks straight, Sam and Dan came to visit, Jess is home, the Nathan’s Christmas party was awesome, lots of babysitting, and a nice get away to North Carolina for the weekend before Justin leaves for training. Now I have about 2 more weeks left of getting ready for the next semester, adding more features to my blog, and just getting my life together in general.
So I came home from NC today and my normally 5-hour drive became 5 hours and 45 minutes (thank you holiday traffic). When I was about 5 minutes away from home though, I saw a shooting star! So I mean, God puts you in the right place at the right time, right?
I started out my drive in tears and spent nearly the entire drive in silence… I just didn’t feel like listening to music. Sometimes I’m super emotional and it’s totally not my favorite trait, but it is something that makes me, Kylie. SO many thoughts were running through my head. Then, I knew I was being emotional when I started to cry because I remembered the time that Bubba and I went to North Carolina together and it made me feel lonely to be driving without him!
What did I do? Texted/called a couple different people for back up. Every single person can give you a different point of view for a situation. For example, I can talk to my sister for the cold hard truth. I can talk to Sami for something logical. I can talk to Justin and get tough love. And I can talk to Rachel to get my own advice…the things I preach to everyone else. I mean- I would be superwoman if I gave advice to others AND followed it myself, right?
Rachel asked me a question and it stopped me right in my tracks. “Why are you hurting yourself?” Instantly I thought to myself, “I’m not hurting myself.” But Rachel was right. I was hurting myself. I was overthinking a made up situation. You probably didn’t think that was possible… but anything is possible in my mind. I told her right then and there it was time to do some self-reflecting.
WHY do I overthink everything? Honestly, everything in my life is so simple. Let me lay this out for you. My parents raised me very well and I have the world’s best sister. I am one of the few out there who still has a close relationship with her family. I found my best friend at the age of 18. I live a very healthy, fit, and positive lifestyle. My dogs are both healthy. I have a good GPA and I am still on track for Graduate school. I have 2 jobs that I absolutely LOVE. I write a blog to try to help complete strangers. My boyfriend is SO good to me (it would probably be humanly impossible to be better). And I can make light and positivity out of every single situation. So… please tell me… what could I possibly overthink?
No, this is not for me to gloat and say my life is perfect, because my life is far from perfect. My ‘good’ GPA is a 3.12. My sister lives 9 hours away and my boyfriend lives 5 hours away from me. I work 2 jobs because I want to be able to save enough money to go to Graduate school. I still make diet coke a part of my healthy lifestyle and sometimes I say mean things that I shouldn’t say. I am far from perfect and so is my life, but overall… I have a damn good life and I know that. I have a lot of things that many people do not have and I acknowledge that. But it would be too simple to just take that and run with it. Sometimes I get insecure and overthink. (I know Justin and Rachel are reading this right now and thinking “HAHA, sometimes?”) But it is something I really want to start working on because I have let this type of anxiety overpower me for the last time.
When I start overthinking a situation, I have a couple of options when it comes to handling the emotions. I might text Rachel and annoy her with my problems (haha sorry Rach!). I might blog about the situation. I might listen to Jensy’s meditation album. Or I might go exercise my emotions away.
The good news is, today I came to a conclusion. I am a girl with a big heart. A big heart filled with an ounce of every single emotion you could possibly think of. I may overreact at times and I am under-react at times. I might be a little overbearing for some people, but to others my positivity and array of emotions brighten up their day. Overthinking is something that I should definitely work on and I guess this post is to tell myself that I am ready to start working on it. I am ready to be a better Kylie.