A FEW OF THE PARAMEDICS agreed that they heard a voice saying “help”… but the crazy part is that they said it was not a baby’s voice… it was the voice of a woman. I got chills when I heard this… you can put the pieces together and believe what you want to believe, but I know it was the mother.
So with saying that… my post for today goes out to my angel.
Dear Grace Belle Drauszewski,
It has been nearly 2 years since you left us. I still think about you every single day. I think about it sometimes and I still don’t think that I will ever be able to forget about you, I don’t think that your presence will ever leave me. You had such a remarkable impact on my life that I’m not sure that I will ever be able to move on. I want you to know that I am trying everything possible to make you proud.
Sometimes when I go visit grandpa, I get really sad. But don’t worry grandma- he is doing very well right now. He is finding many different ways to stay busy. But he isn’t necessarily the reason that I am sad. I usually get sad because I will sit in your seat in the kitchen and picture your little clutter in front of it. I pretend that your ‘agenda’/journal notebook is in front of me, and I write you a little “I love you grandma” in it. I remember seeing you sit there in the mornings waiting for me so we could eat our maple-frosted donuts together. I picture you sitting on your couch, with me right next to you, cuddling under your Kansas blanket. (My mom let me have that blanket btw… I like to keep it close to my chest because it would make me feel warm when I smell it…it still smells like you.) I like to picture you in the computer room playing bejeweled on Sunday mornings when I would come over... you really loved that game. I picture coming over to your house and not being able to find you, then I look out on the deck and you are in your favorite chair reading a book. I also remember all of our trips together. Those make me the happiest to think about, especially Georgia. Can you believe that they lengthened the Champions Classic to another 3 years? We would’ve had a blast at these games… It really hits home when I realize that I will never be able to experience any of these things ever, again.
I remember when we got super excited when we were watching one of the Kansas games and you went to high-five me and almost stabbed me with a fork! We don’t do high fives anymore… Shelby is in Georgia and grandpa always called us crazy for it! We have cinnamon rolls sometimes but it is hard for 2 people to eat an entire pack…. Unless Sami is with me, she helps!
Shelby is doing really, really well. She has a wonderful job on the med-surge floor, and Daniel treats her so, so well. We are all doing really well grandma, I can’t really complain. I feel very happy most of the time… but sometimes I do lose it. You were my second mother and my first angel; life is not the same without you.
You were such a strong, independent, free spirited woman and I am so proud to be able to be one of your grandbabies. I miss when you called me your grandbaby. Whenever I get into a rut I just remember that I am trying to live up to your standards grandma. I try my best every single day for you. I will never forget your grandma. I can’t wait until I can see you again grandma. Sometimes you visit me in my dreams and it makes me so happy. I truly from the bottom of my heart believe that you are there. You always were there grandma, for everything.
I love you so much Grandma, thank you for everything you have given me.
See you again,