Do you ever build something up in your mind so much and you get so excited and when the time comes…it just isn’t want you pictured? It could end up being great…but it isn’t what you expected, so you get down. I tend to notice that I get this way when I am on a streak of comparison. I see other vacations, birthdays, relationships, and even bodies and I just compare. I see all the amazing things that people post (well duh, we don’t post the bad stuff on social media), and I compare my life to it. I knew we have all done it at one time or another. But it doesn’t make it okay. Even just one person suffering from this is enough to try and call it quits.
So why do we compare? Someone is skinnier? Someone is happier? Someone has more money? I think the most annoying part is knowing that deep down that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side…but still torturing yourself with the thought that it is. So how do we call it quits? How do we put a stop to letting the comparisons of others get to us? Well, we need to find the triggers and we need to make mental notes to STOP falling for these triggers. If we know that getting on Facebook may upset us…why the hell do we do it? Sorry for my language, but I mean come on. Why? I am SO guilty of this too. I say it’s time we stop giving into the stigma of social media and the perceived perfection of other’s lives. If we know something may get us feeling a certain way… I think it’s time we stop doing it. Because when you say it like that...it seems stupid that we keep doing it, right?
So here I am, I know I am not the only person that struggles with this.
5 ways to CUT comparison out of your life:
IDENTIFY the triggers
What is it that makes you feel this way? You know, that feeling you get when your stomach drops and your mind just starts to race. When you start to feel anxious and you can literally FEEL yourself rising with anger and self-doubt? Yeah…whatever it is that makes you feel that way, it is a TRIGGER. It may be social media, your phone, people, food… it could really be anything. And on top of that, it may be a completely different trigger than someone else, which is OK. You are allowed to have different triggers and feelings than other people. Just because it seems silly or stupid to someone else, doesn’t take away it’s worth to YOU.
DELETE the triggers
This is the hard part. At this point, if you have a trigger, you have most likely invested yourself in this trigger. It is probably a habit at this point too. Which honestly, habits SUCK to break, right? For example, in the past when all this political BS used to get to me (more than it does now), I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. BUT… I logged right onto Facebook through my Safari app…so what the heck was the point of me deleting the app if I wasn’t even going to try to resist the temptation? I literally thought that I was going to miss something. THAT is why I felt the need to check. Really? Social media does NOT run my life (well, I guess in a way, it kind of does?). I know for a fact one of my triggers is Facebook, therefore I am taking the stand to delete it off my phone. If I check it here and there, that is one thing…but to stalk it (like I feel that I do) is another thing and it isn’t healthy. Just know that I am not throwing this advice out here for others…I am going to start following my own advice. We are in this together.
Realize that what you have is ENOUGH
I promise you that perfect couple online, that girl with the perfect abs, or the girl with the large bank account are not as happy as they appear. They have their moments of doubt, sadness, and lack of confidence. You are not the only one that ever feels this way. Easier said than done, but just try to remember that you have so much. You may not have exactly what they do, but what you have is YOURS. You should take pride in that. This biggest thing that I always remember is my FAMILY. Whenever I get to the point where I get upset for some reason, I try to remember my family and my dogs. Does it always make a difference? No, but more often than not, it truly does.
Count your blessings DAILY
Sometimes I like to make lists of the things that I am grateful for…just because. I like to remember everything I have. Whether it makes a difference when I am having a comparison attack (lol—definitely just made that up), it makes a difference in the long run.
If you want to see how rich you are, count how many things you have that money can’t buy.
Stop wishing for these things to magically become yours. If you want more money, go make it. If you want happiness, go find it. If you want abs, do what it takes. You have the capability to change for the things you want, it’s just up to you to take the steps to do so. If you want to look like her so badly, do what it takes. If you want a happy relationship, make it. Your life is not your social media life. Your life is not your job. Your life is not your friend’s life. Your life is your own life and only you can make it the way you want it. I want to be able to run a faster mile therefore I work towards that. I want to be able to be more confident in myself therefore I am taking the first step and identifying the triggers. I am not going to keep wishing for a miracle to happen. Eh, this may not be very positive but I don’t really believe in miracles. If they were real, Grandma would be alive.
Seriously guys. You have one life. Are you going to keep living it being upset, disappointed, and anxious? Well, I’m not. No more expectations. No more putting yourself down. Here is to being less attached to devices and the thought of freedom. If you want your own mental freedom, you’ve got to go create it.
What are your triggers and how can you delete them?